Existence

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i trudge along a long and winding road,
with silence for company, sullen and sunk;
staring into the distance,
i ponder about this zombie like existence;

standing along the edge,
not able to give in or give up,
my mind is at war with itself,
and the road seems endlessly long;

as the shadows merge with the darkness of the night,
i count the street lights one by one,
some broken, some lit,
but they all seem dull and faded;

too tired to walk,
gone too far to come back,
i want to be happy,
but life is being a tough negotiator;

why is it always like this with me?
maybe i am cursed?
maybe i am the devil of my own doing?
or maybe my time has run out?

fragile and down again,
i am trying to hide the storm that is raging inside me,
trapped in this pitiful existence,
i can only stare at this long road of life;